How to get motivated: 4 NLP strategies that work

/mo·ti·va·tion/
1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way

2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something
3. *My own definition: the art of getting off your butt and getting stuff done




Because here is the thing: you may have a burning desire to do something, you may have the best will in the world, you may even know all the reasons why you should do it… but if you haven't done it yet, don't be surprised.
Getting motivated doesn't happen by coincidence or by miracle. Motivation is not something that some people have and others don't either. It is something we all do, consciously or unconsciously, everyday!
Motivation is not something you have or don't have; it is something you do
Take training, for example, notice I say training, and not exercising! We want to do it, we know it is good for us, we know it is going to make us look better and feel better… but after a hard day's work, when tiredness sets in, who would blame us for wanting to slouch on the couch and watch some TV while eating our favourite treat?
Well, think of taking a shower for a moment. Most of us do it every day. We don't wait until we are all stinky to clean ourselves. We do it because it is the right thing to do; it is time to take a shower.
We are able to do this because we have built up this good habit over the years through repetition. We do it at the same time, in the same place, following the same routine, which is so ingrained in our unconscious that we are barely aware of the process.
If you want to get to the point where your training routine goes as smoothly as your shower routine, start following the following NLP rules:

1# IDENTIFY EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
Answer these questions:
What do you want specifically? When do you want it by? Where? With whom? What for? What will happen if you achieve that? What if you don't achieve that? Is it under your control? Is it worth it?
You see, when setting up goals, a lot of people do it wrong. They state what they want to have, not what they want to do; things like "I want to be slim", "I want a six pack" or "I want to have toned arms"… But, what do you want to do? Because it is as a result of you doing what you need to do that you will get to have what you want.
Your objective needs to be stated in a way that your brain understands it. And just like your computer, your brain needs 3 things: affirmative statements that are direct and very specific.
If you are just thinking it then it is not an objective, it is just a thought. So, put pen to paper and write your answers to the questions above.
If you don't know what you want, how will you know when you've got there?


 2# MAKE A PLAN
Again, if you don't have a plan, all you have is a lovely thought. I suggest you get yourself a diary, an excel sheet, a calendar, whatever works for you, and devise your personal strategy. A strategy to suit your lifestyle, your working schedule, etc…
Keeping the end result in mind, what is the first step you need to take in order for you to do what you need to do? And after that? What's next? Do you have all the resources you need (resources are materials, books, money, people…), or do you need help?
If it's going to take you 12 weeks to get a six pack, set a date and work backwards from there. If you want to lose a stone in 3 weeks, do the same. Break your objective into smaller, more achievable chunks, so that this week you know exactly what you are doing with regards to training and nutrition, and you can focus on just that. As I tell my clients, it's one week at a time, one day at a time.
You see, now you have more than just a nice thought; now you have a plan of action. And believe it or not, this is what most people lack. It's hard to get motivated if you don't know what you want to get motivated for!
And what are you going to do when you are tired, sad, in a mad mood, frustrated…? You must put strategies in place, so when that happens, and it will, you know exactly what to do. You have to become a bit of a ninja!

3# FIND OUT WHAT FIRES YOU UP
There are a lot of things that we need to or should do, but that doesn't mean we do them. So I want you to try on the following sentences, simply add what you want to be able to do at the end.
For example, if you want to go to the gym every day at 6pm for an hour, try these on. Say them out loud:
I should go to the gym – I need to go to the gym – I have to go to the gym – I'd better go to the gym -
I could go to the gym – I can go to the gym – I will go to the gym – I'm going to the gym
Do this a few times and notice which one creates the strongest feeling within you, like you want to go do it. You've just unlocked your personal motivational language. Make sure you use it from now on!

4# IMAGINE YOURSELF SUCCEEDING
One of the main functions of the brain is to prove itself right. So, whatever you focus on is magnified, as the brain thinks it is an objective of yours. Also, the brain doesn't know the difference between a vividly imagined memory and reality. This is why if you want to do something, it's vital you imagine yourself doing it like this (read this NLP resource fully before you do it):
 

Think of yourself doing the thing you want to do, training in the gym, or whatever. When you think about it you may notice the thought to be at a certain distance from you, a certain size, and in a certain place. Just make sure you see yourself in it, looking happy, positive and really enjoying what you are doing.

 Now, imagine the thought getting bigger and bigger until it's almost panoramic. Make sure it's big, bold and colourful, maybe add some sound to it, and notice how good you feel.

 Now, imagine you can float outside of your body and into yourself in the image, so you can see through your eyes, hear through your ears and feel how good it feels to be doing what you are doing and loving it too! Intensify everything even more, so the colours are brighter, the sounds louder and the feelings stronger.

 Now, tell yourself in your most motivating voice "Go For It!"

 Now, take a deep breath through the nose and magnify the feelings so you feel even more motivated!

 Repeat 3 times, first sitting down, and then standing up, and notice how you feel even more motivated!

It's vital that you build a propulsion system that makes you feel good and look forward to doing the things you want to do, so that you want to do them more and more. This is how you get to build up new more useful habits to last you a lifetime.
I've just shared 4 motivational strategies with you,  that when you use them, they will help you get more stuff done and achieve more, faster. They can be applied in any area of your life. These strategies have helped transform some of my clients from couch potatoes into fitness freaks, so good luck to you!

How To Overcome Procrastination

Procrastination is unfortunately something that a lot of us suffer from regularly, whether it's just an occasional ‘put off ‘til tomorrow' or a recurrent lack of drive and motivation. Procrastination can often hold us back from what we really want in life, and unfortunately, it's something that can crop up at any time of life, no matter who you are. A lot of people often assume that procrastination is simply being lazy, but this isn't always the case. Often, feelings of tiredness, hopelessness, panic or even depression can cause us to put things off and avoid reality completely.

Procrastination is a trap, and once we've fallen in it can be very difficult to get back out, so why do we do it? Well for many people, procrastination is simply a way of coping with emotions and physical symptoms that often come with depression, often caused by panic. The unfortunate truth is that often, a ‘snowballing' effect can happen, you may be stressed and under pressure at work, then causing you to panic, which may then trigger depression which in turn can make thing very difficult for you to do. However it happened, it's important you get out of it, otherwise you may find that nothing will ever get done because you're too miserable and negative to bring yourself to do it.

There are 5 main ‘style's of procrastination, you may feel that you fall under one mains style, or a mixture.

• Organization and keeping track of things is very difficult
  
• You fear people disapprove of you, or fear disapproval itself
  
• Important tasks seem futile, and so overwhelming it feels stupid to even attempt them
  
• Hostile feelings towards someone, and punishing them by putting things off
  
• Routines and Schedules cause you to feel rebellious
  
  These styles of procrastination can often also overlap in one of four different themes: Self Doubt, Discomfort Dodging, Guilt Driven and Habitual. Self Doubt is people who feel that there are rigid standards about how certain things need to be done and often fear they will fail, they often second guess themselves and will delay taking action against procrastinating. Discomfort dodging is when a person will avoid activities that will cause them anxiety, discomfort or even distress, however, often by dodging the activity, feelings and tension don't go away, and instead mount due to the avoidance. Guilt driven people often feel extreme guilt when tasks go done, but instead of acting on their guilt and working, they instead procrastinate, avoiding the issue and the guilt completely. And finally, Habitual people are people who have found procrastination to be an automatic response within their lives, they have put things off so often, that they feel it is just a part of them now, and there is nothing they can do to change it.
  
  But there are things you can do to change it, and get out of your procrastination cycle once and for all. The first thing is a simple idea, but it works all the same – make a list! It sounds ridiculous, but it does actually work. Just go to your local stationary store and get yourself a large notebook, and make lists and plans for yourself to stick to, prioritize everything on your list in order of importance, and allocate times for these tasks to be done (1 hour, 2 hours etc). The key to battling procrastination is organization, by allocating specific times; you're ensuring that you have enough time to do everything and get it done! If a task is particularly big, then split it up into manageable time slots, making sure that progress is steady, and you're not giving yourself too much to do.
  
  However, you also need to create some time for yourself, or ‘reward time'. Reward time gives you an incentive to get things done, because you know once it's done you can have a break and reward yourself for your hard work. Procrastination is a tough mountain to climb, but once you reach the top you're free to reap the rewards of an organized, healthy and happy lifestyle, as well as the true relief and satisfaction that comes with having nothing weighing you down!  
  
  
  

Are You Trying To Race Or Pace Your Way To Success?

Life-lessons happen when you least expect it. Even when you're on holiday!
I was blessed to spend a whole week hiking in Grindelwald, Switzerland. My chalet over-looked a stunning valley that led your eye directly up to the north face of the Eiger.


Bernard, our mountain hiking guru, knew a lot about this mountain. He is a very experienced hiker in the Alps (Swiss born and bred!). He told us of how climbers had perished here in their quest to conquer the north face. Many had been caught out by the sudden change in weather, some had frozen to death overnight or had slipped and fallen, others were the victims of rock falls.
Then he led us on the Eiger Trail. This was a 10-hour hike beginning with a 3-hour assent up to the base of the Eiger.

It was hard work and I learned so much observing how people approached this assent.
Some raced ahead to "get her done!" Not knowing the length of the climb they were soon out of breath, feeling tired and the effects of the thinner air. They weren't prepared.
One woman in another group had to turn back because she had started too quickly, became overwhelmed and panicked. She was both mentally and physically affected by this challenge.
It is easy to get swept up in the enthusiasm and race ahead.
In our group, Bernard told us that his wife, Anita, was a slow walker but she could walk for miles and miles. I watched and learned from her as we made our assent.
She was always at the end of the line, last to arrive, but she focused on her own pace and enjoyed every step of the way. She was never out of breath or uncomfortable. She set her own pace and refused to be distracted by inwardly comparing herself to others who were pushing ahead and moving faster. She focused on her own goal and worked consistency to achieve it.

This got me thinking.
How many of us set an intention or goal and race off with enthusiasm and energy at the beginning? We're all fired up and excited.
Then, into the journey, we get exhausted or distracted, perhaps because we haven't thought things through properly or we're too busy ‘doing' to notice that we've deviated off the right path? We use all our energy at the beginning and there's little left to keep us going for the whole journey.
Continuing with our mountain metaphor.

In our haste to get to the summit we're not interested in the "tedium" of doing the work, one foot after the other. We just want the end result now! And we race to end as quickly as possible just to get it done.
So we set the wrong pace, lack the discipline and persistence to keep placing one foot in front of the other, we become impatient and frustrated because we "haven't got there yet".  We burn out, give up or become distracted by something else. We never reach the summit and instead well allow the excuses to take over: "It's too hard" or "it's not for me" or "I didn't really try."
Are you setting yourself up for success and committing for the entire duration of the journey or are you looking for any quick way to get it all done?
This mountain metaphor can be transferred to your own life or work goals. Here's what Anita taught me on the Eiger trail:

1. Being successful involves discipline and persistence. You have to show up and do the work every single day. Hiking up a mountain involves taking every single step along the way, one after the other. Creating a business or building a career is very similar. You have to be in it for the duration, not just when you feel like it.

2. You can only enjoy it fully if you set the right pace for you. Listen to your body and be guided by your own intuition. Stretch and challenge yourself, yes! Kill yourself, no! Set your pace for success and commit to it. It's not about racing, it's about pacing!

3. Don't get distracted by comparing yourself to others. You are you. You're not someone else so stop trying to contort yourself. Be 100 percent pure you! Start from where you are today and do it your way! Be the leader in your life by setting your own pace. It's not a race. It's just you and the mountain! (It's just you and your goal.)

4. Enjoy the journey. There is much to see (and learn) along the way, take it in, fully experience what is happening and what is around you. Many people walk through life unconsciously and become de-sensitized because we're just "too busy" getting things done. Some hikers were focused on getting to the top and didn't even stop to take in the breath-taking views and beauty around them.

5. We are all human beings, no one is better than the other. Racing to the top of the mountain (or your end goal) doesn't make you bigger, better or more important than anyone else. You need to take action and do the work, one step at a time. Get there on your terms not on your ego's terms!

It's not about racing, it's about pacing!

Personal Goal Setting - Examples of SMART Goals

The SMART in smart goals is an acrostic to help people remember the important points that make personal goal setting effective. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound.

These are all critical components of goal setting that will motivate you to achieve the goals you set for yourself. Let's discuss these goal setting guidelines right now.

Specific.
First, you want to make your goal as specific as possible. You want to ensure your goal is detailed and describes exactly what you want.
For example, if you set a goal to own your own home, be specific about it. Don't just say I want to own a house. Describe what kind of house you want; how big will it be, how many bedrooms will it have, do you want a house with a yard or not, and where do you want your new home to be located? Answer the question Who, What, When, Where, Which and How. The more specific a goal is, the clearer target you set for yourself.

Measurable.
Second, when setting goals, make sure you set goals whose progress you can measure. There is a difference between saying I want to lose weight and I want to lose 30 pounds. When you say, I want to lose 30 pounds, you can measure that. You can see your progress as you decrease your weight from 30 pounds, down to 25, down to 20 and so on. This will help you see fruits of your labor and motivate you to keep pushing forward.
Now if you merely said I want to lose weight, well, losing even one pound could constitute you achieving your goal, so you wouldn't be kept motivated to continue.

Attainable.
Third, you want to set a goal that is attainable. Based on current restrictions, such as your schedule, workload, and knowledge, do you belief you can attain the objective you set? If not, then set a different goal, one that is attainable for you in the present moment. By setting unattainable goals, it will only make you feel like a failure for not accomplishing the target you set for yourself.

Realistic.
Next, and this is in line with attainability, set goals that are realistic. If you are 40 pounds overweight and haven't exercised in years, it'd be a pretty unrealistic goal to run a triathlon with 2 months of training. So set a goal you have a realistic chance of achieving. Doing otherwise is setting you up to fail before you even start.

Time-bound. 
Last and most important, all smart goals must be time-bound. Meaning you should have a dead line or there should be a date by which you plan to have the goal completed. Setting a deadline reinforces the seriousness of the goal in your mind. It motivates you to take action. When you don't set a time-line, there is no internal pressure to accomplish the goal, so you dilly dally, letting the goal sit in the back burner.
So make sure to set a date for when you want to accomplish the goal by. By doing so, I guarantee you will find yourself motivated to act on the goal sooner.

Well, these are the goal setting guidelines to set SMART Goals. You want to make them specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.

Even The Littlest Things You Do Can Become A Major Turning Point For Someone

Relationship is one of the most effective tools for spiritual evolution because we're always in relationships. Think of the web of relationships you have at any time—friends, parents, children, colleagues, teachers, lovers, even enemies. All are, at their heart, spiritual experiences.


Where would you be without all those lessons learned through relationships? Could you have grown into the person you are today? Could you have known the things you know today?
If you think back to all the little things we do for each other, and pay attention to some of the events that have unfolded as a result of them, you'll learn to recognize the impact we have on one another, everyday.
I want to take this time to remind you that you all matter to many, in more ways than you know. I see this everyday and everywhere, and am grateful for it. Let me give you an example.

In the late 80's soon after my move from Malaysia to Canada, I found myself being antagonized by a group of students I barely knew at my high school. Maybe I didn't quite understand their culture; perhaps my English wasn't perfect; or maybe my clothes didn't suit their taste. Who knows? But they seemed to enjoy tormenting me. They often threatened me, called me names and threw things at me and laughed.
I dreaded recess because I knew I would bump into them. I was afraid of them. I was afraid of getting in trouble and I was afraid I would disappoint my family if I retaliated or hurt anyone. Most of all, I was angry with myself for feeling so weak.

Feeling scared, sad and angry all at the same time, I kept my composure when I asked my art teacher, Ms. Kroeker, if I could spend my lunchtime in the art studio to practice my artwork. I even convinced her to lock the door so I could "keep a better eye on all the art supplies." She never questioned me. She was always very good to me.
To this day, Ms. Kroeker doesn't even know the truth about what she's done for me just by doing me that "little" favor. You see, while I was locked in the art studio each day during lunchtime, I came to realize that I was a good artist. I soon understood why Ms. Kroeker always praised my work. She believed in me long before I even believed in myself.

Learning to appreciate my own creativity was just my uncovering a piece of the puzzle. There was more. Being locked in at lunchtime gave me a safe place to be, to think, and to do some soul searching.
And with this opportunity to reflect, something inside me began to change. I was sick of feeling scared; sick of being locked in; sick of allowing others to have so much control over the way I felt. I knew that sooner or later I would have to face up to my fears and stand up for myself.
I had to unplug from a negative belief pattern about myself that had no truth but nonetheless had "power" over me. I knew I had to stop judging myself and give myself permission to do what's right for me.
I was ready. I gave myself permission to be free – to have lunch like everyone else. It wasn't long before my tormentors spotted me in the cafeteria. I felt something bad was going to happen but I kept my cool and went about my business until one of them decided to creep up from behind to attack me. That was when I lost it. I detonated.

In that little moment in time, every social grace I've ever adopted went out the window. I had to do what came naturally—defend myself. Though I held a black belt in Karate at the time, I must admit fighting for real was very different from fighting in a ring. In the ring, we had to follow the rules. In this case, there were no rules. Anything goes.
I was striking moves I didn't even know I was capable of just to fight not one, but three people off me. After a taste of my "temporary insanity," all three of them scattered off like mice running away from a cat. I was in shock. Did I hurt someone? Was I hurt? Was I the cat? (Like I said, I was in a little bit of a shock.)
To make a long story short, from that day onward, things were never the same. No one tried to bother me anymore.
I learned something else along the way as a result of all this. I used to think that doing my best means I have to be in the best mood or else I'm just not doing my best. Or my best has to be this awe-encompassing deal, or else it's not good enough. I'm glad to say I was wrong.
The truth is that your best is going to change from moment to moment, and that's okay. It will be different when you are healthy as oppose to sick, happy as oppose to sad. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Doing your best means doing the most natural thing for you in each moment – making decisions to move away from what you don't want and more towards the things you do want. And if this means you have to take a few steps back in order to move forward, that's okay, too.
Doing your best also means making each moment for yourself a little better than the last. This does not necessarily mean that the next step you take will put you in an ideal place right away. It may not even make you happy in that moment. But nonetheless it is a necessary step in order to move towards your ideal outcome.
And if those steps you take should somehow lead you to fall hard along the way, that's okay, too. Just know that sometimes we have to fall in order to rise again—stronger than before.

Common Symptoms of Teenage Depression

Common Symptoms of Teenage Depression

It is estimated that 20 percent of teenagers will experience depression before they reach adulthood.  There are certain signs and symptoms that teenagers show when they are battling depression, some more obvious than others.  I have a teenage son that battles depression, and recognizing the signs like his isolation, over-sleeping, were important is diagnosing him. There are other signs a teenager may show when going through depression.  Some of these signs are changes in appetite, changes in sleep, loss of interest in favorite activities, irritability as well as irrational responses to frustration and finally, statements of despair.   Recognizing these signs is very important to know the level of depression your teenager going through.


Change in appetite is a sure sign of adolescent depression.  The change may be in the form of eating too much or not eating enough, if at all, for long periods of time.  It should not be mistaken for an eating disorder though sometimes such symptoms could develop into an eating disorder.  This can especially if the patient starts to feel better following a change in diet.  This feeling can be misleading and seen as a form of therapy but is actually harmful.
Much like changes in diet, changes in sleep are also symptomatic of adolescent depression.  My son would sleep over 12 hours at a time while battling depression.   All teens love to sleep; however, a drastic change in sleep behavior that does not have any rational reason is what one should be looking for.
A reduction in favorite activities such as sports or hanging with friends is another sign to look.  This is another common adolescent depression symptom that can be easily noticeable.  It is not the same as when a child outgrows his or her likes for a particular activity.  If a child loves a sport and during the middle of the season suddenly decides to stop, there is a reason to be concerned and it could be a sign of adolescent depression.

Another sign of adolescent depression is when the teenager or child is easily angered, or often overreact when frustrated.   Many think this is a common teenage phase, as did I with my son.  They may become defiant as there is underlying depression they are dealing with, which they will then manifests in the form of anger of an irrational type. The depressed adolescent may take to verbal abuse as well as getting into fights.
Making statements of despair is another symptom of adolescent depression, which can be especially disturbing to others especially those close to them. Attempting to communicate with such a depressed adolescent and get him or her to discuss the writings, sayings or art, may help get the child or adolescent to get out of whatever is causing the depressed person to do and say such things.  This is very serious since it is estimated that every year approximately 10 teenagers for every 100,000 commit suicide.    

So knowing what signs to look for in your teenager is very important. Don't take it as just normal teenage behavior. Knowing when your teenager is battling depression can help them have a better life, or even save their life.

The first step to beating depression is learning about depression.
Visit www.whyamiunhappy.com to learn more and receive a free gift.

What you give is what you'll receive

"What goes around comes around". I've been thinking of the meaning of that sentence for sometime now. I remember one Sunday when I was going to Church; I came across this little girl on the street crying. Immediately she saw me, she walked up to me and pleaded with me for N50. "What do you need N50 for?" I asked her and she replied that she lost the money given to her by her aunty to buy something from the market. I took pity on the poor little girl and took out the only money left in my purse and gave it to her. Later in the Church that same day, I was not able to give offering because the money I gave the little girl was the only money I had on me. 

Days have passed since that incident when I found myself in a very difficult situation. I can never forget that Tuesday evening when I closed for work very late and was in a hurry to get home that I forgot my purse in my office. I already boarded a bus and we were nearing the bus stop when the conductor started collecting transport fare, I opened my bag and to my utmost bewilderment my purse was nowhere to be found. I searched for it in my bag thoroughly before remembering where it was. I pleaded with the conductor to help me out but he was adamant, he was about embarrassing me when a young man sitting behind me in the last row intervened and offered to help.

That day as I climbed down the bus, the picture of the little girl I helped on my way to Church flashed in my mind and I thought to myself, "What you give to others that is exactly what will come to you". Even the Bible says, "whatever you sow, so shall you reap," whatever you do in life just bear it in mind that whatever you give, will be given back to you, whatever you do will surely come back to you, one way or the other, either now or in the future; they call it karma. If you give love, kindness, compassion that is what will come back to you. If you give hatred, wickedness, etc, that too will return to you. Life is like a vast field and we are all farmers. A corn planter will never expect to reap groundnut, a yam cultivator will not expect to harvest cassava, what you give the earth is what it will give back to you. If you sow bountifully, you'll reap bountifully; if you sow sparingly, you'll definitely reap sparingly. You cannot compare the harvest of a farmer who sowed a healthy yam setting with that of a farmer who sowed with a sick seedling. Cain in the Bible offered bad sacrifice and he got bad appraisal from God but Abel gave a healthy sacrifice and he received a good appraisal from God. Maybe if I hadn't helped that little girl, I wouldn't have gotten any help that very day I was stranded. You may never know when you helped an angel so make it a point to reach out to people in every little way you can.

If you are to live your life with this consciousness every day, giving your all and doing what is good and right in the sight of God and of man, you will definitely receive good returns and you'll never have the cause to regret any day in your life.